Experts told about the phenomenon of “psychological incest”.
Everyone knows a family where the children have long grown up, and sit near the parents, as chained. What’s keeping them? Chain called “psychological incest”, or the subordination of the child to the will of the parent. The phenomenon is fairly common, and sexuality is irrelevant. It is based on the desire to always be in first place in Chad’s life, controlling his every move.
The child is not perceived as a person, and receives from the parent a role that has to play. The most vivid examples of children on the chain — daddy daughter, mom son and mom daughter girlfriend. At the same time parents do not realize that make their children weak — as the mother of Achilles, who couldn’t let go of him, holding the last effort, and that’s what made him vulnerable.
WHO IS THE DIRECTOR IN THIS THEATER OF THE ABSURD
“Often the psychological dependence occurs when a child is assigned the role of “Deputy” someone with whom relations were broken off or not developed (due to divorce or death), the procedure says psychologist Lily the Siskin. — Healthy family system has a very clear order between adults one relationship, between children, between children and parents — the third. But when the order is violated, the problem starts, is it, mom “grows” not a son, husband, and father daughter replaces lost wife.
But it happens with living parents in two-parent families. Because the relationship between people always have a subconscious fear of being abandoned. But a child will love parents always. While adults do not even admit the thought that the child will grow and go in your life. In a healthy family parents normally accept that raising children “for export”. Problem parents don’t think a child should have a private life.
The most common result of education in such an environment — the inability to create a family. There are examples when the mother is trying to replace the adult son of the woman in everything continues to feed, contains, solves all the tasks and is very happy when the baby has no strong affections, but only short connection. Sometimes these relationships reach the point of absurdity, when the mother, ignoring the woman’s son, comes to visit, he stays up till night, and goes to bed with young. Similar story with my dad’s daughters and daughters-friends. Due to the nature of data daughter can have time to have a baby, but with his father to live not remain. After all, a man capable of loving with the same dedication as a father or mother to find is unlikely. That the children in this case suffer, the parents do not think.”
THREE DANGEROUS PHRASES
If you suspect that your child is still small you can do psychologically dependent, read the phrases-strong, talking about unhealthy relationships.
1. The phrase “You’re the best” — a direct path to firmly put the child on the chain. If you want to praise him and to Express love, add “… for me.” Otherwise, he will go out into the world, for which he’s definitely not the best, not going to get what, in his opinion, he should start stressout and bad people will resort under the wing of loving parents.
2. The phrase “Children are the meaning of life” shows what to let go of your sense of life parents can’t.
3. If the child is over 3 long years, and you’re still running stories about him the pronoun “we” think.
