How to choose a spouse, life partner, and live together

Nature created Man, this amazing creature for happiness, which consists of two parts: your favorite things and your loved one. Unfortunately, choice and your favorite things and favorite people in our society are not given proper attention. The youth were taught only to read and write, but to live in the family, as a team, build relationships and make friends – these unimaginably complex processes! – we have to learn how to do something, ie, someone in that much!

For this reason me and attempt the abnormal situation at least once Yes to change and improve.

In the old days was the “need” to attend various lectures. To ensure that my subordinates had visited them otherwise would be to me some claims! – had I to go ahead of them.

On one such lecture, the great hall was filled with people. Lecturer, intelligent man of about 55, talked about the daily life in the countries of South-East Asia, where living standards were low, i.e. nothing special. Remember only his story that there in the jungle still live tribes who … a bounty hunter white people, but of special value for them has the head of a white man with a beard! So it is only with an AK-47, point of no return.

After the lecture he invited the audience to ask questions that have not appeared. The lecturer said goodbye and was about to leave, hall was waiting for his departure, the listeners were intelligent people – that’s why there was a pause. At this moment in the back of the hall came a loud powerful female voice: “How to choose a husband?” (As the saying goes, to each his own!) Again there was a pause, and then the audience burst into laughter. The lecturer also smiled, then, after waiting until we get quiet, began to answer: he is not an expert in the field of family relations, but can only Express his point of view on this topic. And that’s what he told.

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The husband should be smarter and more successful than his wife, otherwise the family unit difficult to keep. Women love and seek to control men, but only the smart, strong and … guaranteed!

It is recommended to respect interests of the husband, at least, not to rebel against it. Once our team was formed a couple whose husband was fond of fishing. On this basis they have begun the strife: the weekend the husband fishing and the wife misses. And then one day he proposed and his wife fishing, she suddenly agreed. Then she shared with her impressions: the forest, the lake, the noises and voices of nature, sunset, fire, ear, guitar, sleep in the tent, the dawn fairy – tale, and more! As a result, it has become in this part in front of her husband.

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In another case, coming home on payday, the husband … happily explained to his wife that his salary was just enough on the brand, which was lacking in his collection. And so it is: and laughter, and sin!

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The husband should not be incurable vices: addiction, alcoholism, avarice and jealousy.

Sociologists have found that the most psychologically stable among men, engineers and athletes; they also have stronger families, fewer divorces. In contrast, less stable servants of art and the rich. First want and aspire to the podium and Olympus, to popularity (PR); the second is spoiled exorbitant their money, i.e. power. These families and children have little interest in, they continuously marry and divorce, by the way, not all animals are beings behave!

A survey was conducted of all men of the Earth: what they are, to put it mildly, do not accept women. All gave the same answer: a constant dissatisfaction, complaints, scandals, etc., that can be compared with the methods of torment and bullying of the Inquisition in times past, when non-private dripped drops of water on your head for days!

Spouses should be friends, otherwise they are enemies! Friends understand and respect the thoughts and deeds of each other, their mutual care, they avoid misunderstandings, conflicts, quarrels, etc. in a Normal, healthy atmosphere in the family, which is especially important for the education of their children, can only be created at a constant cheerful cheerful couple! This is especially true of wife and mother that just needs to be always in a good mood, humming or even humming a favorite song, etc. Its a good mood involuntarily transferred to all family members and others. By the way, is the behavior of Manager has a positive effect on employees in the team.

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As we know, Karla and Eugene marks was a lot, i.e. more than 10, children. When they were sick, their mom was acting vigorously, was cheerful, etc., which would seem unnatural! She claimed that her poor dejected mood bad at all and does not contribute to the freedom from ailments; on the contrary, the cheerful mother’s behavior will be more effective for a sick child. This is a wise, sensible and correct position of both mother and wife, and everyone!

If the spouses are not friends, they have permanent confrontation, enmity, and hatred; their life together is torture for both, but especially bad it affects the children. In this case, probably better … the divorce.

Recommended difficult controversial issues to find out spouses … in pastels, where they are extremely close to each other.

About the same poet Vanshenkin (wise, all qualifying words; that’s the goal of every person’s life, and young people in the first place):

God forbid you learn to care

Of a bygone youth to grieve,

Do unloved work,

With the unloving and unloved person to live!

My cousin once shared an incident from his family life. He and his wife often quarreled for days not talking, etc. One of their sons, still at school, put them side by side on the sofa and said: we have both equally and very much in love, but we don’t want you fighting! Are they so affected that they suddenly become … friends.

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The other important factor is the differences in the relationship between spouses before and after of living together, which differ significantly: if the “to” relationship – they are called non – productive- for both is a little encumbered, are”free”, from the beginning of life together – the relations of production – all radically changed: budgeting, food, apartment, clothes, then children, etc. Nature “tricky”, it allows prospective spouses to know each other before, but only after living together, when, if it fails, too late to retreat. It is recommended that each of their desires and whims to reduce in 2 times, and duties, on the contrary, to increase at least 2 times.

The joint life must begin separately, even without the most “expensive” relatives. To establish the relationship between people is enormously difficult, even between the two. Everything is easier if the couple are friends. My mother told me that when she came to my father’s house, the mother-in-law said to her, “Now you’re in the house full mistress, and I’ll help you, especially they want to raise grandchildren.” And then they never any tensions and grievances was not.

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Try to “remake” the other practically useless, it rarely fails. One American tried to teach a young wife to squeeze toothpaste from the neck tube, as it has done from its end. How much and how he tried and never achieved. Here’s a typical conversation with my first – the second will never be! – wife: if I say “Yes”, she immediately says no, I Yes, she no, I “Yes,” she “no,” then I say “no”, she immediately … Yes, that’s it! That is, and then operates the universal law of nature and society: “the Unity and struggle of opposites (Eibep)”, against which no arguing!

Separately advice on how to arrange relations with the relatives of both parties: in this area, good results are achieved if each spouse regulates the relations with the relatives of his side.

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Enormously complex process of education and formation of personality of children. Man is his brain, which is all there is! The formation of the brain begins in the womb. It is believed that its Foundation is laid in under 3 years, improving to 7, and the final formation when the age of majority. The task of parents at an early stage to recognize the tendency of the child, young men, and then a young man and help him find a favorite thing, without which his life will be difficult and hardly successful. You should clearly understand that adult then practically it is not possible to re-educate or “remake”!

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Therefore, it is extremely important that the child was under 3 years is inseparable from the mother; or at least 1 year. The mother in the first place, because no one else loves as much his child as she is! – like all other, needs with a baby to constantly talk, read stories and books (they write smart people!), to sing folk and Soviet songs and tunes, especially classical music, which animals and even plants react vigorously. Modern trends in the music corrupting the youth, growing Breivik and the like.

One of the main goals of education should be the independence of children and, primarily, their ability to learn, not only in school and University, but to learn to live in society, to learn everything, always and everywhere, learn to be independent. As we previously advised: learn, learn, learn!

However, with them growing up and not allowed to overdo it excessive care, care and attention to them, so as not to raise a zombie. It is believed that an excessive attention parents pay to their children less from them then will come back to them.

The family must have more than one child, or to get a good “result”. Every kid feels the need also brothers and sisters. This was claimed and well-known educator Makarenko A. S.

As they grow, children should become full family members, have regular duties to participate in the conduct of the family budget, and then have your earnings. My parents had the usual rule to consult with us, their children, especially with my older brother.

When my brother and I were in conflict, the parents were “explanatory” work, and then forced us to hug and kiss, saying: “you are brothers!”. My parents always acted toward us simultaneously not contradicting each other, which is extremely important in relation to children.

Particularly respectful attitude should be formed to the mother, that is to the one who gives us life! When I years 10 raised your voice to your mother, she the back of her hand kissed my lips and said only: “I am a mother”. Never again, I no longer dared to show her the slightest disrespect! A Jew once told me that their mother, after cooking, sat down at the table and eat first herself, and then called the rest “Hebrew”.

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A few “tips” from myself.

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My friend, a successful engineer claims that a normal family to create different beauties, models and the like, in principle, impossible and fails. As the song says: “Why do you, girls, beautiful love? Irregular they’re in love!“. The same applies to beautiful girls, they should stay away! Preferably for this purpose the girl with any … disadvantage that will be a good family relations! Of course, this is a moot point!

In one movie Fedor khodas – Sanaev V. advised: “Beat not tried?”, maybe it’ll work.

The family of one English Lord very much was closed to the public, the press did not manage anything to find out about their lives: all the questions should have always the same answer – all OK! The Lord was silent and the journalists have lagged behind. But his wife was not left alone, and decided to “put the squeeze”. And then one day she remembered something and began to speak. When she showed her husband, a famous man, and in all respects positive, she was in seventh heaven. “The case came to the wedding; the husband offered to go get married in a horse carriage, that she also very happy. Everything was going great. Back together. On some uneven section of the road the horse stumbled, the husband uttered one word, “times”; then the horse stumbled a second time, and my husband clearly said “two”; when she tripped for the third time, the husband calmly and silently took out a revolver and shot her! You know what happened to me: I started to have a seizure, I screamed and rushed to the point of exhaustion; the husband was speechless and did nothing. When the power left me and I stopped and there was silence, the husband, again quietly and calmly said “time.” That’s all, only this one case; and more in our family, never any dissension and discord was not to live peacefully, in harmony“.

There are many things in nature, Horatio, than are dreamed of our sages.

And finally, I (along with Bella Akhmadulina) tell the truth is simple: love is the way to ensure that the marriage close to heart and mind. For Man until Man, until he laughs! And there is no sadder story in the world for anyone with a sense of humor is not in color.

Think, friends, think! I wish you all peace, friendship, love and happiness; all normal benefits and success, and, most importantly, cheerfulness and optimism!