The psychologist gave advice on what to do if everything in life went wrong and piled a lot of problems.
Susan Krauss: the Success does not mean absence of problems.
The situation is stressful only when we perceive it that way.
“Your house in a mess, you forgot to pay the bills, your mailbox is full, but your cat needs a visit to the vet. You need to redo a huge number of cases, and you don’t know where to start. It seems that your life is in complete disarray, and you don’t know how to regain control,” writes psychologist Susan Krauss in the column for Psychology Today.
What a threat to you, may be perceived by others as a challenge
She noted that there is a solution: the psychology gives a person many recipes how to cope with stress, namely stress makes you feel lost. Sphere of stress and attempts to cope with it is one of the most useful in psychology.
“Expert, UC Berkeley Richard Lazarus suggested that the situation is stressful only when we perceive it that way. What a threat to you, may be perceived by others as a challenge. Do you think a full Inbox insurmountable problem, but your best friend loves to look for effective ways to deal with the letters, and even considers them a number of proof that other people appreciate it,” says the author.
She explains that in their study, Lazarus suggested that people cope with stress in two basic ways: focusing on the problem-oriented and emotion.
“In the case of using the problem-oriented approach, we directly engaged the threat and ways to change the situation. In the case of approach-oriented emotions, we’re trying to change your feelings regarding this threat,” says Krauss.
Research, she said, showed that by far the more effective method exists: choose the one that best helps you cope with a stressful situation.
In 2014, was determined as another method to cope with stress – oriented value.
“Its meaning is that you change the approach to a stressful situation and begin to consider it as an opportunity for growth,” – said the psychologist.
She notes that if you can reformulate “torn” in your life and start seeing it as something that will make you stronger, it will be the first step to putting your life in order.
Step by step you will learn how to release stress, change your perception of the world and organize their lives.
“You can’t escape the social network or their favorite video games, but if you begin to consider their problems as something you can control, little by little you will be able to deal with what is causing these problems,” explains Krauss.
“Success does not mean absence of problems. But when you have a problem, realize that you can deal with them, and you step-by-step will succeed,” concludes the author.