I Love Jehovah’s Witnesses. They are direct as children. Believe everything they say. This is because they have critical thinking as oysters.
British scientists recently found out what IQ oysters. It turns out that 2-3 points. Not bad for a clam, whose head and ass are one and the same, and that doesn’t even watch TV. Although you never know, it may have kept the clam these last 2-3 points?..
But with the oyster will not argue about Scripture. Oyster poke his nose in her ignorance. She didn’t care that she’s ignorant. Prove to her that she was stupid, and she will tell you: “And Cho?”
But Jehovah’s Witnesses do not tell. They are convinced that they are right and you are not, and long before you open your mouth to say something. They are so programmed where the conveyer as Golems: opened the head, put a piece of paper with text, closed — walk, Bob, bring light to the world.
They, of course, wish you well on your idiotic style. But they will present it as if you do, the hapless idiot, a huge favor on their part.
In General, from their point of view, you are doomed. You are a fool from the street, do not share the true faith, and is not likely to be able to get up close and understand what they want to tell you. So when the good Lord finally decides to end this world (maybe this Friday), they with happy faces walk in heaven, playing harps and singing Psalms, and you will burn in fire and die together with mother Earth. Dick and one of them will turn out.
They have it in every pamphlet drawn, I specifically looked. There are happy people with the smiling and peaceful faces are such a small tribe in Paradise, and behind them writhe in the flames of their relatives, and other assholes who didn’t wish to bring happiness to yourself by making the Right Religion. The Lord loves them too, clear pepper, but you know… Haha in Paradise?
So when you talk to a Jehovah witness, we must always remember that it is you. You are the pathetic asshole who will burn in the fire behind him, when he, witness, was going to Paradise, and whose cries he even the ear does not blink. And if you remember this picture, it becomes much easier to communicate with them.
My dad loved to engage them in discussion. They came to his doorstep, and he just read a lot of books about the Bible studies, about the latest research and let them to drive as scholars, through the Bible, and to ask tough questions. Of course, they soon ceased to see him, so he still missed him. Funny, he says, know nothing about the Apocrypha, nor the genealogy of Christ. Begin to tell them — listen, the ears hang… yeah, dad, and so are the new sect.
I also, I confess, intervened earlier in the debate. Once rode the bus, and got.
I went to a neighboring village early in the morning. The hours of enforced idleness. Dark. Cold. Shaking. Even the newspaper is not read. No one on the bus — just me and my aunt in her fifties. Sits:
— What do you know about God?
I poked in the ear and say:
— What would you like to know? Ask.
Then she thought for a few seconds. It’s because she broke the pattern. Usually her answer: “And you go to hell!”, and she already knows how to proceed, but here again — and not answered. This, of course, out of the rut kicks in. But she quickly managed, commend.
— Let’s talk about the Bible?
— Well, the hell with you, go ahead.
She pulled from her purse a portable Bible.
— Have you read the Scriptures?
— Read, ” I said. — And you?
Feel — again, the template broke. Wait. Finally, realized.
— Yes, of course! says.
— Well, then you might be able to explain to me one thing that, frankly, I was very tormented, ” I say.
She was delighted, and smiled. Here she is, grateful to lost sheep that needs to return to the fold of the Lord.
“Of course,” he says.
And my favorite question is about the grandfather of Jesus. That is, clear pepper, he only has one grandparent — my mom. As Pope he generally full of confusion. There is not clear who did it, or Joseph, or the Holy spirit, and whose grandfather into this mess looking for?
Found her in the genealogy of Christ in Matthew, poked: the father of Joseph named one Jacob.
Found her in the genealogy of Christ in Luke: the father of Joseph named one Eli.
There in these genealogies still under a hundred people, all different. As they say, dear, who are these people?.. Well, okay, decided to do the grandfather of Jesus.
— Map I — say. — Why? The same can not be that Joseph had two fathers.
Generally, of course, is the wrong question. The right question is: why the hell are these people doing here? Strictly speaking, none of them any relation to Jesus is not because they are a descendant of Joseph even hold a candle did not. So any one of his excellent pedigrees of any practical value has no wonder Joseph show off their origins.
Moreover, priests for 2 thousand years have already come up with, though clumsy, but there is no explanation for this curious fact. Any person, if it is more or less in the subject, these explanations are easy to remember and otaraant. But in front of me-not people “in the know”, and a Jehovah’s witness. They won’t be able to answer, if it is not programmed. I hear somewhere in my head the leaves rustled with the text. Forehead light: “the Thought process… 30% completed.
And there is no such leaflet with the text. Is not programmed. Forgot to put.
Read Matthew again. Flicked over to Luke, read there. And though, as before noticed?.. Maybe the Bible is defective? Probably the whole party, the Supreme Jehovah’s witnesses forgot to sanctify.
— Well-at-at, ” he said. I don’t know.
Here they are, these words. I was waiting for them.
If we are going to engage in a discussion with the witnesses put before them a simple question, and don’t let them deviate from the topic until they admit that they do not know the answer. Then ask the following. Try to run, catch and demand response.
And can I ask you? “I told him.
She, silly, and agreed.
Fortunately, 10 minutes later there was a stop in some village, and she’s escaped from me. I’m not sure that it was her stop, but she jumped out of the bus like a bullet.
I think it is something taught? Not at all. After a couple of months, she caught sight of me on the street and invited to a meeting at the Kingdom Hall. This is because they have called the places where they open the head and put fresh pamphlets, and the excess of the brochures handed to them, to be distributed among the tenants of his housing Department.
I was delighted, saying:
— Oh, so you and the Kingdom Hall have? Or you can register?.. Be sure to come. And you still write me, my name is Herostratus. Where, you say your Kingdom Hall?
I had already realized that they don’t need to discuss. It is necessary just to break the pattern of communication that they felt like idiots in my company. To me it became uncomfortable. Then they’ll leave and never come back.
She’s mad at me and left. Probably think I’m evil, a Satanist, a heretic or worse, an atheist — Commie. The right hand of the Devil. I devour Yakovitsky babies in the morning and in the evening wander near the Halls of kings and Astley young jehovistic. Desecrate the grave of Jehovah’s witnesses, they are shitting in the elevators and burned in the fire brochure.
Well, Yes, I am. I love the smell svezheokrashennoj of the temple in the morning.
A week ago went home, and then accosted me two. One hand was outstretched and catches me, but the second watching which way I’ll jump to cut me a path to escape. And brochures your shake:
Take it, young man!
Well, I’m not that young. I’m not that person.
That’s where you were yesterday? “I told him. — Yesterday I went there and thought: if only the Jehovah’s witnesses was found. I would have asked for brochures… No, it is not necessary. Today it is not necessary. I have two rolls I bought. Where were you yesterday?..
These, too, are offended. Though that offense? For that matter, pamphlets them completely for this case is not suitable. A lot of paint, paper, hard and non-hygroscopic.
And two more I in the doorway, caught. They are just in my apartment was going to call.
— Oh, ” I said. And we were just about to call.
— It is useless. — I was not at home.
— Well, now that you’re here, will you take a pamphlet?
— Not-and — say. My horned owner is still the previous one not read. You know, we don’t wear. And when he reads, laughs, Haiti, the earth shakes. Pity the Haitians don’t wear anymore.
Know how they changes when you hear it? Try it, I highly recommend. An exciting spectacle. My left tiptoe and whispering. By the way, Haitians regret you no longer wear.
And, you can try this:
— British scientists recently discovered that Mary was a virgin not in the literal sense, but only on the horoscope. It is then in the Bible all mixed up.
— And you have the pictures in books? And there are pictures where people in the fire? Find me such.
— Jehovah’s witnesses in heaven will fall?.. And if the corpse to use in a black mass?..
Still no good bloodthirsty inflate the nostrils and offer to meet at midnight in the Park. No time right now, but at midnight… there’s no way?.. Sorry.
The main thing — not to prolong the conversation.
I now when I see them on the street recoil, Baring their teeth and begin to hiss like a vampire on a Sunny beach. Their is unnerving. Some even drop pamphlets.
What?.. I think I’m angry?..
No, I assure you, I’m still good.
Recently a friend told. She comes out of the house and on the sidewalk someone’s teeth, someone else’s blood, someone’s brochure… And you say I’m evil. I’m good.
I just don’t like when I was thrusting with his eternal truths and infallible sanctity of some vague people who have nothing pricks don’t know, but see themselves as bearers of Light and Truth. Although really nothing, except for bacilli, to endure can not. Well, I do not like them. You see, if I have a sudden traumatic brain injury, or is there schizophrenia in the nervous system — I’ll own will come to you, I should not be invited. Until then — don’t touch me. And you will get punished.
And generally, if it would be necessary to choose a religion, I would choose something from the dead religions. Some good old faith in Osiris or Jupiter. They may be a bit naive, these ancient faith, but in the world there is not one priest, which would have to hock me your truths and teach me how to live.
The pastors, my Lord, we need spiritual sheep. And I don’t consider sheep.
