Particularly problematic the topic of money.
Psychologist Svetlana Merkulova told about the phrases that should not be used in conversation with the child when the issue comes to money.
There are topics that parents difficult to communicate with children. One of them is money. Why not come up with adults trying to explain why neighbors can afford an expensive car, and they are not, or why the whole family didn’t dress in the store and on the market. Children’s psyche is arranged in such a way that, when a child hears a particular phrase, he learns, uncritically, and then lived with the conviction that the world is exactly as he once told mom and dad. How not to talk about money with Chad, said the psychologist Svetlana Merkulova.
“We are not as rich as Petrov”
Such bad comparing yourself with rich people, the opposition itself it really sounds like “we will never become like them”.
Conclusion: your child will never succeed conditional Petrov. This phrase, like the previous one, restricts, shapes his perception of the world in which there are rich Petrov, is he (his family) is poor.
You should not engage in comparing and contrasting. Worth talking about what is common between you.
“I work for you” or “I bust my butt for 24 hours a day, to me”
This phrase comes from the fault of parents because they had little contact with Chad. In fact, what do mom and dad? They are protected, blaming the child for what he is not guilty! They almost hung him guilty. This phrase has a lot of configurations, for example: “You stay in the garden, and I go to work, we need to buy bread”. Naturally, the child sooner or later will answer: “I don’t want your bread, pick me up from kindergarten. Due to the fact that parents cannot cope with their own guilt in front of the child, they actively share it with him. And then people from an early age growing with the guilt that he is such a darling that he’s demanding so much from adults, and if not him, then the poor mom and dad so much would not work.
Much more honest and healthier for a relationship would be to admit that you feel due to the fact that they have a lot of work and little to see of the child, and try not to hang on your child excess weight.
“You will learn, my dad will give you money”
To promote the school success of the child with money I wouldn’t. This is a very slippery slope. The child learns because it is so accepted, these rules, everyone does it, why should it be paid? School is not a factory, the Desk — not a machine, so it is best that the child learn for themselves, their future, and not for the money.
“Time to zarabotatj, rest while you can”
They often talk about protective parents who think that child is too young to start earning money.
This phrase primarily has a negative connotation in regards to labor, like if you’re her “harnessed”, it will not be able to escape. Yes, work takes time and effort. But it also provides opportunities, not only financial, but also creative. Gives the opportunity to realize themselves and feel needed. Equal citizen of society.
If the teenager expresses the desire to work, you should support him, because this skill will be very necessary to him in life.
“It’s very expensive for us”
It is not necessary to refuse thus to purchase. This phrase shows your child that something is beyond your and hence, its possibilities. If it is constantly broadcasting, you can form a belief about the impossibility to change anything. No.
As a rule, you can always save up for an expensive purchase. Ask your child to postpone given him the money or tell me what an expensive thing it is accepted to give on any occasion. This is the best way out of the situation. In addition, you will give your child a purpose.
