In the army counting the days until I was ordered, in prison before possible PAROLE, but everyone knows the term, and when it should end. In the hospital harder, there few people know the term and not all strive to bring. Spent on bed days could have been lost in record for life, if they did not give material for thought and unexpected conclusions. Then I realized that take some time and monotonous diet menus. It does not mean traditional fish day – Thursday, and environment – which provide Breakfast eggs. Recently I got my fourth egg, this means that soon there will be already a month since I soared at the Treasury’s rack. This fact with such a long observation immediately reminded me of army and prison, I found a lot in common, although not have the proper experience.
And in the army, and in jail and in the hospital man, dropped from his usual lifestyle, practice, colleagues, and friends, instantly loses its social status, the freedom to dispose of himself, his time and life. He is forced almost completely to delegate their civil rights overseer of the fathers-commanders and lailam doctors. He becomes a silent member of the terpenes, which can do anything any Sergeant or even a nurse. Daily morning and evening rounds painfully reminiscent of its senseless formality of the roll call-verification, when doctors only care about the fact, still alive or already a patient you can free up a bed for another prisoner-the sufferer. It is possible that I exaggerate somewhat, but not much.
It is difficult to maintain the cheerfulness and optimism, when you suddenly for no reason, no reason to literally throw you out of bed become almost native in ward No. 6, filled with the classics of Russian literature, about which I wrote recently banned on MP post, and driven for some reason with all the accumulated belongings and supplies to the new location of his release. There have again for a long time to get settled, unpack, get acquainted, get used to the inmates and staff of the other wing, except that the former chamber found it necessary to make a purely urological profile. Especially pins to scrub the flash drive and the laptop from spilled juice from the loosely spun the bottle, which is ever hurrying the ultrasound tech put it in the cart, interspersed with clothes, food and gadgets. Well, everywhere has its pros and cons.
A new chamber was almost the same, but it is better ventilated and less noisy in the end of the corridor, unlike the former, located almost opposite the main post. The people greeted me quite cordially and loyally, willingly helping to accommodate, and then, as usual, hearing the history of the disease and sympathetically. Definitely, at some angle you can even feel something like satisfaction, when there is no need to cook, wash dishes, wash clothes, take out the duck, to make decisions and in a hurry. About as people get used to life in the army and prison, starting to consider their model of building relationships between people as logical, reasonable and even the only correct one, subsequently transferring the concepts of field manuals into real life on the outside.
They even like it, because any autonomy implies personal responsibility for the decisions, and that not everyone is ready. Here and on Maxpart, I, starting a struggle for the recovery of the site from trolls and clones, never thought pointing to the wording of its error, would be subjected to such harassment by all the honor of the uniform of the moderators. It turned out that criticisms of the work of their teams and even re-posting the edited material, bereft of any personal attacks, entails first 3 days, then a week ban. Question about am I a trembling creature or the right to have, was resolved simply and easily. However, I don’t wonder, knowing the habits of petty and vindictive wardens, converting website whether in the army or in jail, or the nuthouse.
Using his anonymous facelessness and connivance of the authorities, they easily evade even the personal moral responsibility and any explanations of their actions, no corresponding Agreement with the user. But the Lord judge them, not all to me as the calf butting the oak trees. Forced pause gave the opportunity to write several more letters from the underground, which I now began to publish Prose and Conte. The relative paucity of comments is compensated in my eyes their unpredictability because of the novelty of the audience and a high level due to the lack of empty flooding and malicious trolls. By the way, known to many of sun Myung moon now not seen or heard not only on Maxpart, but to Classmates and other networks. Perhaps life teaches even such scumbags.
Actually, the past month has taught me a lot-eyed not only at the dubious prospects of Newsland, but many of my acquaintances, friends, colleagues and even relatives who showed himself towards me very different and ambiguous. One wasn’t even particularly close, and even argued and clashed, but they showed a lot of attention, tact and real care, not forgetting me in these difficult days and skrashivaya my loneliness, their pain and experience their moral support and words of encouragement. Other, formally inquired of my Affairs, expressed sympathy and briefly forgot about me, taking themselves, their far more important and urgent matters, as if fearing to be infected by problems of loser. Well, I thank them for that.
To live without rose-colored glasses is not too funny, but safeguard against further errors, unjustified illusions, unfulfilled desires and vain expectations. And then suddenly the sleepless nights feel like a launching pad of Baikonur, which is filled with a combustible mixture of powerful rocket, ready to rush somewhere up and to dock with a rotating star in inconceivable given orbital station, a long time waiting for another visit from the Earth. And then again imagine yourself able to conquer and overcome his infinite power and love a superhero, with four steel balls, need to all and especially to some. But then the mind becomes clear and you realize that all this is only a dream, and for release you need to make yourself at least a few steps and not fall.
The long-awaited statement was unexpected. The next morning after my transfer to a new ward surgeon said, that more me does not delay. It’s happy, but seriously puzzled, because I almost did not get up the last 2 weeks. But the eyes are afraid, and hands do. I quickly agreed with my friends and going. Without long goodbyes and wires. Without waiting for lunch, I was taken on a wheelchair to fit the car. I got up and loaded, each brought things and drove home. But on the 4th floor I had already costulate yourself, we have no Elevator. Gritting his teeth, sweating with the rest, but I overcame them. Had two eggs. Then it was already easier, another friend helped to get and I was alone again. But already at home. I hope this is my epopea finally ended.