Alexia and Joel, both 80, met in a cafe – within a week they had arranged to live together. A decade later they still do, splitting their time between California and Colorado
In 2010, Alexia considered herself “happily single”. Having been married twice, she was enjoying life and in no rush to settle down with anyone else. “I’d been living in Boulder, Colorado, since 1961 and was working as an author,” she says. “I’d had a few fun outings with people, but I didn’t want a new relationship.”
All that changed when she walked into a cafe just before Valentine’s Day. “It was a snowy night, so I chose a seat right near the fireplace,” she says. “I looked up from my book and saw Joel.” He waved at her, pointing to the seat next to him. “Suddenly I was very curious, so I went over to chat,” she says.
Joel told her he had lived in Boulder since 2004. “I’d taken a vacation there in 1975 and loved it so much I planned to retire there,” he says. “I’d only popped into the coffee shop for a drink but I noticed how attractive Alexia was. Once we started talking, I realised we had a lot in common. We both love education and have a strong interest in health, fitness and nutrition.” He told her about his career as a doctor and she told him about her writing.
“My first impression was that he was the smartest man I’d ever spoken to,” says Alexia. “He was telling me lots of interesting things and I was fascinated by him.” They met again the following day. By the end of the week they had arranged to move in together. “When you get to 65, you know when to trust that instant chemistry,” she says. “I intuitively understood that everything about Joel was positive. He had this super-high energy and I wanted to be like him.”
Although Alexia had been married before, Joel had always been single. “I’d led a simple life, working at a medical centre in Houston, Texas, and I’d never had kids,” he says. “When I met Alexia, it was sensory overload and everything was happening at once.” Joel admits it was difficult to adapt at first, but he knew the relationship was meant to be. “It just got better and better. We moved quickly but it was more of a feeling than a rational decision, something you can’t really put into words.”
After retiring, Joel had begun to explore the subject of nutrition, which also interested Alexia. “I’ve always loved learning, so I really enjoyed asking Joel questions and exploring these topics with him. He opened my mind to new ideas.”
The couple enjoyed cooking, eating and travelling together and, in 2010, went to the town of Ojai in California, a community renowned for agriculture and fresh fruit and vegetables. “We started spending winters there. We loved the climate and all the local, healthy food. We even had a pomegranate tree on our lawn,” says Alexia. “There’s lots of psychology research about how eating together can help to improve your wellbeing and health. It’s something we really value.”
In 2020, they built a website showing people how to make meals with fresh, sustainably sourced ingredients. “During the Covid crisis we got funding from the government to deliver farm-fresh meals to homeless communities,” says Joel.
Outside work, they enjoy spending time with family, and live near Alexia’s two children and three grandchildren. Joel says that everyone loves his partner because she is so kind and easy to be around. “She comes from a family that really values education, which I love. She’s also very socially gifted – she’s a great conversationalist.”
For her part, Alexia loves Joel’s positivity and commitment to their healthy lifestyle. “He also has this continuous curiosity and everything we do feels compatible. We’re independent, but very connected, too. We can always talk through everything and help each other out.”
