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Business English – from sunup until it stops

  • Nicholas Yurenev
  • Бизнес по-русски – от расцвета до упора

    Imagine a village where there is no soap. Did not deliver. Do you have an entrepreneurial streak – you take a familiar ride on a Gazelle in the city, buy the soap in bulk, bring your own and sell it three times more expensive as the demand is rabid. These “three percent” and live. Next time you go into town on the wagon and sell this soap in the neighbouring villages (calling it “build a regional network”). You are a successful entrepreneur. Whether you need strategy development, marketing research or WMS system (warehouse management)? No, because you otherwise would buy everything. Thus began the Russian business in the 90s.

    Then you have a competitor who starts to sell the same soap cheaper than you buy it. A reasonable explanation of this no, but look for a reasonable explanation for the behavior of Russian businessmen – the threat to reason. However, your “three percent” in question, and you are nervous. Your moan sellers that can’t sell in such conditions, and you dismiss them because the business is not a place for wimps. New hire and also fire…

    But then together with bring soap shower gel, as the oil grew, and with it the salaries and pensions, and your villagers want to smell not only the tar, and violets. Average margin “circle” grows, you can live, although not on the “three percent”, but by two. Strategy development, marketing and CRM (software customer relationships) is still not needed. You are still a successful entrepreneur. Banks crowd running after you to give you money for almost nothing, and you take them. You open 20 branches and an office in red square, declare themselves a Federal company. To manage it you bet your accountant, because you feel lazy. It management the early 2000s.

    Oil is growing, and you build a shop. Then the second one. Half of the product is on the shelves six months before it will buy, another quarter there, gathering dust from the opening. But the margin from the last quarter so that covers all damages, and you are not worried about that. More precisely, you don’t know about it, because the whole accounting is your old accountant has in the prehistoric versions, and there’s all boiler method – revenue, cost, profit. The main thing for you is profit, because this is your new car and tuition for his son in London.

    But then suddenly learn from friends (business press you do not read from a principle) the terrible – in your village want to come “the feds”. Or even “transnational”. Have marketing, CRM and, worst of all, low prices. The prospect of living on one percent scares you, and you go to the Guber, who is still in high school tore the ears, and a bottle of fake brandy discuss “measures to protect local businesses and taxpayers from the Vikings”.

    A closer look at the feds site suddenly found the ancient temple (then you build there third store) to another site for three years can’t apply light, on the third gas etc. This attack manages to hit, but bad news came from the accountant – he was summoned to the tax and hinted that taxes will still have to pay. At least some. Two percent turn into a half, but this has nothing to do about it. On the advice of Huber you enter into the “United Russia” and the cameras give to the new Church. It is the management of the late 2000s.

    In the end, the feds connect the spare resource, the call Huber at the top – and they are still open. But because oil is growing, and your business is already large, and one percent is good money. Marketing, inventory management and strategy you have is still there, but you are still a successful entrepreneur. You’re thinking about how to stop drinking cognac with Huber, to move away from the “operational management” and move his son to London.

    But it happens at all is terrible. First, the falling oil price. Second, banks suddenly become extremely ungracious and start ticks to rip you from your money. Third, you discover that out of 20 branches 19 you don’t belong, and the 20th fired. And fourthly, your business suddenly becomes interesting to the son of the chief of the local police Department.

    In your store in broad daylight breaks camera crew and discovers the terrified manageress that the margin on butter as much as forty percent. The story goes on local TV, where “forty percent” glued to the face of the weeping full screen large tears of the pensioner. TV crew filming your house behind a high fence, built in the era of the “three percent”. And if more recently, you wrote about a local Robin hood, then you suddenly appear in Robin Gad, drinking the blood of the working people.

    In your parish office, the police Department, FSO, FSB, the exterminators, Rospotrebnadzor, tax and service for drug control. They find something and take away the servers, reporting and “black” cash. You run to court, but there look at you as a very ill person. The courts you will lose, along the way learning about yourself in a courtroom a lot of bad. Then you are invited “where necessary” for a conversation, during which tenderly explain that “even this is not in question – to give or not to give”. And honestly propose to sell your business “good people” at the price of a used car.

    You drink alone, shoot videos for YouTube and dirty abuse the power. Write a message to Putin that no one reads. Goober you are both cleared in connection with the “loss of confidence”. You call again and say that if you don’t stop fresh, so a free option to sit a year or two in prison. They say there would be a person, and article will be. In the end you are still giving business along with one percent and an accountant, but without a strategy, marketing and CRM, as you don’t have any. You are viewing on the website Slon.ru famous business Protestant Dmitry Potapenko, heavy with hatred for the environment and think how to live further…

    The relationship of business and government in Russia, someone recently called “the dialogue of the butcher to the cow”. Without disputing the correctness of this judgment, I would venture to add that the cow was a victim not only because of the bloodthirsty authorities. But because of his own unwillingness to grow – and the desire to solve tasks of non-market methods, including using the same power. What would be a wild look at times the government, business in Russia is still as wild, and at best only takes the path of civilization. Of course, he will sooner or later become civilized – unless, of course, it will not cut it that time completely.

    Sviatoslav Biryulin

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