Her life was difficult.
June 1 marks the 90th anniversary of the birth of one of the most beautiful women of the twentieth century Marilyn Monroe. Write about it so much and the information so contradictory, that to see them for real Marilyn is extremely difficult. I guess no one can tell about it better than she. Recently published fragments from her diaries, which allow you to see her with an unexpected hand and learn what previously could only guess.
For a long time the diaries were kept from the widow of American Director Lee Strasberg – the Marilyn that he bequeathed his archives. Recently Anna Strasberg decided to publish them. The book “Marilyn Monroe: Fragments”, which included letters and diary entries of the actress, called the best book about her and the first true autobiography, as everything published previously was only memories of other people about it.
She began journaling at age 16 when first married. Jim Doherty tied her first disappointments: “From the first night spent with him, I began to doubt our relationship… He attracted me because he was one of the few young people to whom I felt no sexual disgust. It seemed to me that he has amazing qualities, which I was not. (…) Next to it I had a false sense of security. (…) Last night I was in a bad mood. I was tired of her distrust of him because of another girl. I waited for him, and he did not appear. I was afraid that he would see me in such a pitiful condition. Then it turned out that he really spent the night with another woman. I could bring failure, but to become a fool I couldn’t”. Daugherty they lived only a year. Her second husband was baseball player Joe Di Maggio, the marriage was also short-lived – after 9 months they broke up. About Di Maggio Marilyn in her diary remembered.
Third marriage Marilyn was the longest – from Arthur Miller she lived from 1956 to 1961 On it she wrote with admiration and adoration: “I really want to protect Arthur, I love him and he is the only man whom I ever knew, whom I can love not only as a man that pulls me almost to unconsciousness – but he’s the only person… whom I trust so well as myself – because when I really believe yourself to be (in some things), I do it completely.”
The parting with Arthur Miller was Marilyn’s very painful. From his records she accidentally learned that he was disappointed in her and ashamed of her in front of his friends. On the set of “the Misfits” playwright, who wrote the script for this film, fell in love with another woman. Marilyn admitted in his diary: “I’m always very afraid to be someone’s wife: life has taught me that one man cannot love another truly.
After her divorce from Miller, the actress fell into a deep depression, she was plagued by thoughts of death: “I would like to die. Does not exist. But how can I do this… the Brooklyn bridge I really like. It’s beautiful and the air is so clean. When you walk through it, everything seems fine, even despite the mad traffic. No, it has to be some other bridge an ugly and without a great view…”. It is infinitely delves into yourself: “For someone like me it is wrong to engage in a detailed self-examination – I am quite thinking. Not much fun to know yourself too well or think that you know yourself well – everyone needs a little mystery in order to be able to go through the fall”.
At a time when it was surrounded by crowds of fans and admirers, she felt infinitely lonely: “One!!!!!! I’m alone, I always one, whatever happens”. In 1961, Marilyn Monroe was in a psychiatric clinic, from where she wrote to Lee Strasberg: “…They put me in a cell (concrete panels, and other attributes) for very ill patients. (…) I had a feeling that I was in prison for a crime he did not commit. (…) I told them: “If you’re going to treat me like a psycho, then I’m acting like a psycho”. The doctor said I was very, very sick girl and I was very, very sick girl for many years.” 5 August 1962, Marilyn’s body was discovered in her home. The official version – suicide.